March 2, 2015
...bits from this weeks message from Charlie...
Laura is doing fantastic. She read through the Restoration Pamplet and then we watched the restoration movie with her (the short version). She is so so sooo interested in the church! Mom it is amazing how many of her ideals and standards match up perfectly. She told us yesterday that this is the only church she has felt completely comfortable with! Her kids loooove us too. We hadn't seen her in like a week just because of her being busy and us missing her. When we came by yesterday two of her daughters poked their heads out from behind the door and they got the BIGGEST smiles and ran over and gave us hugs!! Then they proceeded to tell us it wasn't okay that we had been gone so long :) LOVE THEM! Laura should be having her baby within the next week or so!! Lots of prayers!!
Soooo Jesus.... Jesus.. Jesus..... Everything was going amazing right? We had a lesson with him and his friend that was amazing. They both came to church on Sunday and Jesus thanked us and said he was so glad he finally made it.... then Monday... We had our second lesson on the Plan of Salvation (the last half) and it was amaazinq! Near the end of the lesson I noticed that Jesus looked kinda out of it or upset. Sister Wilemon Invited them to pray and invited them to pray about Baptism. Jose accepted right away buuuut then Jesus was just really quiet.
He finally asked if he could talk to us alone after the lesson. So the lesson ended and our member and Jose stepped outside and Jesus started off by saying it is really hard for him to open up to people and express himself. He told us that we were the first missionaries that have made him feel something. The first ones that have made him want to be better and especially made him want to stop lying to us. He told us how kind we were and how he could see how important this was to us. (As far as we knew he had been struggling to pray at all). He told us he had been lying and that he actually had been praying. He knew now more than ever that this Gospel and what we were teaching was true. He knew for himself... but that was why he needed us to stop meeting with him.
He felt that it wasn't for him at this time in his life because he knew he wouldn't be able to keep the commitments or commandments if he were baptized. For him, when he says he will do something he wants to put 110% into it and he just didn't feel like he could do that. I felt like I got hit by a semi truck and then they saw that I was still alive so they backed over me again... We ended up talking to him for a good 45 minutes.. Sister Wilemon was at a complete loss of words and I was struggling but I got some good questions asked and the rest was really just my testimony.
I told him that I knew he had gotten his answer, that knowing this was all true was his personal answer from God. I said something along the lines of, We aren't expected to be perfect whatsoever. I am far from perfect and I am constantly working at things day after day. Baptism is just a step, but we will continue to learn and grown from mistakes we make for our entire life. That is why Jesus Christ is so important, because when our time comes and we are standing before God, we will not be good enough. None of us will. But knowing that this is right and true is enough. We will be able to say, Heavenly Father I tried my best and I did everything that I could to follow you, but I am not good enough. That's when Christ will be at our side to say I will make up the difference and he will carry us the rest of the way.
When it came down to it he told us he wanted zero contact. Yeah.. that was a rough night. I knew what he was feeling and I respected his desire to go at it 100% but thats not possible. We know that we will make mistake after mistake but Heavenly Father loves us enough to have given us a way to return to him. Really all we have to do is keep trying to get there no matter what.
Jesus ended up texting us on Wednesday apologizing and we have since met with him twice... he still seems very uninterested, but we will see what happens.
In the end I am very grateful for this whole experience. Looking back, I realize that I shared things with him that I have never before put into words. Of course I knew those things were true no doubt, but I had never said them to anyone let alone to myself. It really tested and strengthened my testimony a lot. I am so grateful to know that Heavenly Father can see the big picture. Even though my heart is breaking.... and it may have made me wish that I could control agency ( :D )... I know that God knows whats best for him. We just need to keep moving forward trusting in Him with faith... even though it feels like I am running forward with my eyes closed!! I know He will be there to guide me.
Any ways, lots of prayers for Jesus!
Love you all!!!!
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